Adulting..?

I haven't written a blog in quite a while... and not because I've had nothing to say.

In fact, some days, I had a LOT to say...but it was better said in the form of paint. Some days, it truly was silence...and that was soothed by the sweet sounds of my Colbie Caillat Pandora station and cuddles from my cat. Some days, I knew there was something that needed to be expressed, but I wasn't quite sure what it was, and so I got in my car and drove with the music blasting until my mind was calm and I knew it was time to return home.

Anyway... Hi. Welcome back.

I'm not sure how many of you actually read these blogs, but they feel good to write from time to time.

This year has been kind of crazy. It feels like I just graduated from the University of Kansas, but I'm actually coming up on the one-year-mark pretty fast.

I have to say - I'm really proud of myself. After working six jobs through art school, I made it to the other side! I'm not working full time in my field yet, but I am  working full time at a job that has a really good insurance plan (important) with people I enjoy (also important). I am building my client base and doing creative work consistently both in the realm of freelance but also making some personal stuff. I finished an entire children's book that will be great for my portfolio, and because of that book, I am in the middle of two more children's book contracts that I am thoroughly enjoying.

I've paid all my bills on time. I've kept up with doctor's appointments. My cat is fed. My house is clean (at the moment). And I'm trying to teach myself piano again.

My friends and I joke about "adulting". I don't know where this term came from but it's funny to think about during this transition in my life. I have been pretty independent my entire life but with each transition comes more opportunities to learn about myself.

This is the first year I've lived 100% on my own. Okay, that's not entirely true -- my cat, Goose, lives with me, too. Being a closeted introvert, I was so excited to have my own space - and it really has been great. But the biggest thing I have had to learn this year has been how to slow down in a meaningful way.

In college, my schedule was jam packed between classes and pageants and jobs and somehow fitting in studio work between all of that to meet project deadlines. I would literally crash for an entire day and sleep for 24 hours straight and then get back up and keep going until I crashed again. This wasn't healthy at all - but I didn't have a lot spare time to haggle with myself on how to execute proper self care.

Now, I am so in tune with what my body, mind and soul need on a day to day basis. I have started some really meaningful art in times of frustration, sadness, and anger... and continued to meditate on those feelings and where they came from throughout the months as the paintings build up and come to life. Sometimes it's still a couple extra hours to sleep in, but most of the time, it's being able to communicate both with myself and with the people I interact with about where I am mentally and knowing if what I need is a solo paint sesh, a long hug, or a road trip where I can blast music and clear my head and know my best friend is waiting at the end of it with a cup of coffee and a listening ear.

It is so important to have the tools to care for ourselves first. Identify activities that help you release negative energies and gain positive energies. They may be different depending on the kinds of energies - they may be a solo endeavor or they may be something you invite someone to join in on. They may be creation based like knitting, or drawing, or building with legos. Or they may be experience based, like listening to your favorite band, or going to see a live performance, or playing video games with a friend. Tune in to when your love tank is empty or your stress tank is full, and discover the ways that work for you to de-stress and fill your love tank back up.

I know I, for one, am super cranky if I haven't taken the time to love myself a bit first.. and that's totally not being selfish! How can you expect to lift someone else up if your base is rocky and cracked to begin with?

With all the stress we experience day to day and the amount of work we all put in to keep the world turnin' round, it is so important to take a little time and use it in meaningful ways to put a little more gas in our own tanks from time to time.

So yeah, I'm proud of always making rent. I'm proud of the creative clients that I am making work for. I'm proud of all the other stuff I'm sure you see me doing on social media, too.

But most importantly, I'm proud that once I left the grand learning establishment of college, I learned some of the biggest things about myself - and that is how to care for this life and this body I'm living so that I may continue to serve at my fullest potential.